Dealing with "kids"...any advice?

Lately it seems like I've gotten the files of a couple of kids across my "desk"...

They're all 19 years old, have a lot to live, yet find themselves in my sights. I'm not that much older than them, I'm 25, will be 26 in June, but still look at them as if they're "SOOOOOOO" young. Perhaps being a "new dad" has changed my perspective on things. Part of me wants to perform the "scared straight" tactic on them while another half wants to hold them like I would my daughter. What I like about this job is that we can, as recovery agents and bondsmen perhaps make a difference by maybe using that idea of "tough love".

What scares me, and this may potentially be a weakness, is that I look at these young (alleged) offenders and defendants as my own. Is that a bad thing? I'm not perfect either and can relate to an extent with them, but, with being a new dad and also an idealist, what can I do to potentially make a difference and also what can I do to help ease my thoughts regarding the welfare of these young sheep now astray?

I'd love the advice of the veteran recovery agents and bondsmen out there. I performed a revocation earlier tonight on a young on and although the time in county may help this one, what things are there can I do or say to perhaps make a difference? We can't save them all, I understand that (as much as it pains me), but there has to be something to help those few who've wandered from the flock.

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There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you still get the same soaking. This understanding extends to everything. - From the Hagakure

I try not to let myself get emotionally attatched either way. I let them dictate how it will go. I can be friendly and fun on the trip to jail or I can be a complete jerk. However they want it. I may try to talk a little sense into a kid once in a while, but I know it wont work. I damn sure aint gonna hug one. Liability there.

Just do your job. Be professional. It will all be ok.

Ben
I used to teach emotionally disturbed, learning disabled, juvenile delinquents in a full lock down boys facility. The toughest ones during the day were the ones that cried themselves to sleep at night. To reach kids, you have to know them well enough to really know what it is that is missing in their lives. Sometimes it is lack of parental supervision or parents all together. Sometimes it is that they are victims of some sort of abuse. Other times, they are stubborn little spoiled brats that have never been denied anything and won't take no for an answer. The bottom line is, unless you are professionally trained, and even if you are, you don't have enough time from the recovery point to the jail to do any good.

Kids at this age do not want to be lectured by anyone, let alone another kid. Hell, I hate being lectured by a cop my kids age, write the damn ticket and save the lecture! When you move out of your mom's basement and pay your own mortgage, then talk to me. It is good to be compassionate, some kids have never known it. Be careful, most kids and druggies are the best con artists you will ever deal with. Never let your desire to help compromise your safety.

Scott

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R.E. "Scott" MacLean III

"Leaders are like Eagles, you never see them in a flock, but one at a time"

Chesapeake Group Investigations, Inc.
Chesapeake Bail Bonds
877-574-0500
301-392-1100 (fax)
301-392-1900 (Office)

Andy pretty much nailed it. Compassion does have it's place, as long as it doesn't breed complacency. Remember, they're still skips...

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Doug DiNatale Bail Bonds
Vienna, MO
(573) 368-6672

"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."

Ben, you can use alot of the same training and tactics that you learned before leaving country. Those techniques can serve you well with these people, just as it did with those. The things I am learning, now, will be some of my greatest assets when I am able to return to this industry....I believe. Knowing how to read micro expressions, haveing more interrogation/interviewing techniques, being able to notice body "tells", and never depending on the words of the menatally challenged, people of low intellect, or certain personallity types will be of such great help. The "having a heart" or "you made your own bed" mentalities are a personal opinion and choice. Some remain hard nosed. Others expose thier careing. Then you have people that will respond according to the person, situation, and other criteria; deciding what thier reaction is, on the spot. I hear my daughter say "You do do"....It took some time for me to understand this but now that I think I get it "You do you". Be yourself and respond how you are comfortable. That is the best advise I can give you, on this subject (and it will only cost you some range time; I barely passed quals; It was the night fire that got me, so I need some A4 time)

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Thomas SnoWolf
FRN# 1999
GAPB 20120726
NSIS ST0707
http://www.rocksolidrg.com
"The hero is not the man that acts without fear,
He is the man that acts inspite of fear"

Thanks guys I appreciate it...we picked up another one of my teens tonight. It was his birthday - just turned 19 and already has a good little history going in the county. I think something else that worries me is that my kid is going to be around people like them one day. Or maybe it's me trying to exercise the "daddy hormones" and trying to do what I can where others might have fell short. I do understand what you all are saying about safety and the con-artists out there - and they all are skips and have warrants.

It's one thing that I use to see this on T.V. - the nightly news talking about these young kids "cutting the fool" as my grandfather would say, and watch them destroy their lives, it's another to have one crying in the back of your car.

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There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you still get the same soaking. This understanding extends to everything. - From the Hagakure