When you are old, fat and scared of your own shadow.... do what I call.... "improvising at the exact moment of need"...
People that have the gift of BS... can accomplish more than you may imagine... I do have to agree with Scott on one thing... I can hit what I aim at and that is because I am only allowed to have one bullet in my gun/guns... even the automatics I have only go "bang" once... so I have to be fairly decent.
... do not believe much of what is said about me... I tell great tales but most of them are just that......... tales... oh... I also like tails... uh... whitetails... I am a deer hunter...
Scott, you need to back off your flowers on me... it embarrasses me a lot!!
it is not warranted... oh... here's a quick story...
I think I posted the case where I had to chase a Maryland lady 60 miles up I-85 when she ran out of the courtroom?? anyway... I got a call from the CA in that court... they want me to testify in the case Thursday... tell them what happened in that case and how I managed to "apprehend" her... can you imagine what that courtroom is gonna be like when I get on the stand?!!!! after 14 years of showing up in these rural southern courtrooms... about all I can accomplish is getting a chuckle out of the judges and lawyers... "here comes that crazy fat old bondsman"...
hopefully that will keep me on the good side for a while... 
... and here's another one that told me.... "I will do anything to stay out of jail!!!"....
NOPE... I locked her up... 
Here's some advice for you newbies.... do not succumb to temptation folks... it ain't worth it... use the brain in your head... not the other one...
PS:... when you get above 70 years of age... your other brain sort of goes dormant... at least some of the time... no, I ain't on that pill yet..